Apple has been the unfruit of my life! I bought my iPod not even a year ago & it is already trippin’! If it’s going to happen, thank God it happened before the manufacturer’s warranty ran out! I take my broken iPod to Apple & it turns out all that’s wrong with it is a software issue –that I could’ve did at home on my own. I am definitely not a ‘genius.’ Because I have allll the time in the world to spare! Like I’m not busy saving bastard children from trees in the Midwestern winter!?! Waste of time #1. & no, that’s not hashtag one, it is ‘number 1!’

I get back to the loft, because I’m not at the penthouse anymore, this isn’t LA. For the record, I love my loft! I get back to the loft to update my cleansed iPod with all my music to contribute to the loss of my hearing & what happens when I plug it in? NOTHING! It couldn’t be detected!?! Then, like most technological unreliable items, it did whatever it wanted to & went into DOS mode. Had I been a millennial, I wouldn’t even know what DOS is! It was like the first iPod ever made once they fell off the tree & onto the market, except those played music. There it stood, frozen, doing nothing like a city worker. The only time it did something was when it turned off from dying. It was sure putting up a fight.

So, I call good old Apple back & make another appointment with Granny Smith to see a highly qualified technician, I mean ‘genius.’ Pardon, I didn’t mean to disrespect. Only to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. ‘You need another appointment & have to drop everything to go back to the circus they call, ‘The Apple Store.’

I go back, again, & this time luck strikes me & they breakdown & give me a replacement! OMFGG! I am soooo blessed! I didn’t have time to go out of my way to update the bitch again, because I am still rock starring,,, Stevie was in town & I was late for lunch. I then somehow, somehow find time to update the bitch a few days later. I was tired of walking around with my laptop bumping it, like those idiots that swear everyone wants to hear their music in public. I missed my iPod! I didn’t, at the time, go broke for nothing! I used it twice. & to top it off, I didn’t even have all my music stored to it. Damn pirate! :O I go to put it on for a 3^rd time, because after all, the third time is a charm, right? & I realize there’s a fuckin’ dent on the back of it! I was like, WTFQ!?! FML!!! I thought these pieces of shit were made of metal!?! I then call Apple, again, & opt to make another damn appointment! They gave me an apple that was rotting! By now they’re on my call history favourites list because I call them so much! This is assurance people still use their phones to talk even if it’s to call to companies & complain! By now, I’m trying really hard not to act like a diva & go cray cray on a mother,,, & by now I’m exhausted & pissed. I kind of wanted to just laugh. As if I had nothing better to do than bleach my hair, I invested more time in this predicament than I should have. As it is I’m pressed for time! This time I had to cancel dinner with Jessica Lange & Emma Roberts!!

By the time my appointment came I was exhausted, literally. I couldn’t go on anymore. Emma was on my case. She acted worse than ‘Madison Montgomery’ & ‘Chanel Oberlin’ combined! Yikes! The bitch really wanted to kick it,,, I have missed her. I was also tired & annoyed & it just so happened ‘Riverdale’ was premiering that night, so I was in an awkward position, not like the one I am used to. I chose ‘Riverdale.’ Apple can wait! Fuckers. This ‘new’ iPod has a new warranty. This apple was rotten to the core. This apple fell too far from the tree. This apple is thisclose to becoming apple sauce. & speaking of ‘Riverdale,’ my new favourite guilty pleasure, one of them,,, 😉 The CW has drawn me back to it. Had I not cancelled on Jessica & Emma, & had I gone to the circus, I would’ve never, possibly, rekindled an old flame. Maybe getting back in touch with The CW has to do with the fact that I finally took a step & made a BIG commitment by getting cable [gasp!] & yes, the internet! :O That is a HUGE deal for me. Could I be settling down?!? Don’t get it twisted though, the cable is basic, unlike yours truly. I still spend like a college student! I was BUSTING @ ‘Jane the Virgin.’ I can’t believe ‘Supernatural’ is STILL on the air! I remember the producer said it was only going to last 5 seasons & it’s nearly gone 3 times that. That ‘Supergirl’ though,,, yummy! Is it me or is she Blake Lively’s doppelganger?!? There’s no one like ‘SVW.’ Sadly, the days of ‘One Tree Hill,’ ‘90210,’ & ‘Gossip Girl’ are long gone & over. Thank God for syndication & DVDs though! LOL. Speaking of syndication, I forgot how FUNNY ‘Roseanne’ & ‘Married with Children’ are! What’s a little ironic is that they both take place in Illinois. But with all that said, I need to call Apple & make my next appointment. Imagine if I had more Apple products?!? Let’s not & say I did. On the contrary though, a piece of me, the small unmaterialistic side –yes, there is a small side to me in that aspect, wants to say, fuck it, I’ll keep the flawed iPod. After all, some of the best & beautiful things in life are flawed 😉

Tom Brady is a badass. He is proof to never give up. Even when all the world is watching & doubting you, even in the heat of the moment where the temperature is up, even when time is running out, even when you feel like you can’t go anymore or any further, even when you feel like you have lost the Superbowl –pun intended, even when the last grains of sand are running through the hole in the hour glass, even during the last minutes of the 11^th hour.

Time is ticking, time is running out. Talk about creating a blaze with just a spark of hope! Talk about not going down without a fight!

Faith. Believe. Strength. Passion. Fire. Motivation. Stamina.

I’m not the biggest football fan, but even I was so proud. In my eyes, because after all you are on my site, & this is my world & you’re just crashing on the couch, all this is is added proof to not get ahead of yourself. We saw the same thing with the presidential election. Sooooo many people thought Hillary had it, but look who won. Look at OJ. Everyone thought he was guilty, & for all we know he [probably] is! But that verdict of ‘the people’ changed the world otherwise. A word to the wise, we should never get too ahead of ourselves. Fate has a way of doing things her way à twist of fate. What fate wants fate gets; fortune is blind.

This story reminds me of our beloved cubby bears, except then I wanted to cry. I started to, too! LOL. I was a proud Chicagoan & baseball holds a piece of me. It took them 108 years for a victory. 108 years versus less than 12 minutes. Don’t ask for a comparison. I am assured anything can happen within a blink of an eye; I’m assured anything can happen; I am assured anything is passible because nothing is impossible. I wish more people had the same momentum, but I’m glad for the people who do because it serves as inspiration for the people who really want to make something of themselves & that thing called ‘life.’ I’m reminded about my own personal aspirations & to keep on going because YOU NEVER KNOW! You can’t win the lotto if you don’t play. Get rich or die trying. It’s like the fat person who loses a ton of weight & ends up looking hotter than you. It’s like the geek who everyone clowned on that is now a billionaire. It’s like the aspiring actor who moves from Canada or across the country & lands a leading role. The American dream is still alive! Even if most of us are sleeping, hypnotized, jaded, cynical, distracted. We can make something out of nothing. Life is not life without its challenges! No one said it would be easy. They always say, ‘it’s so hard.’ It’s so easy to say something is so hard. Yeah, I have my challenges, I am only alien,,, but even I, too, have a dream[s], a heart, emotions, feelings, & a conscience & on occasion a heartbeat. I did say I was alien, right? & at times I could throw in the towel & have the attitude of ‘I’m accomplished’ but I’m not. I’m only just beginning. I still have a long way to go & when I feel like I am getting nowhere, I can now stop & think, what would Tom Brady do?

This story of Tom Brady is so inspiring. That’s probably why he’s praised & glorified the way he is. He deserves it. It’s probably why the Patriots keep on renewing his contract. It’s probably why the Patriots are always referred to as ‘Tom Brady & the Patriots’ –talk about the star of the show. It’s probably why he’s married to one of the hottest super models in the planet! It’s probably why he’s pro! It’s probably why he has that sickass diet. & It’s probably because,,, he’s Tom-fuckin’-Brady! Tom Brady has a new groupie. So, with that said, keep your eye on the clock because if you spend all your time wasting it on what to do time will pass you by. Get the steppin’ because that hour of redemption, that 11^th hour, only lasts so long & before you know it your time is over to make a move & that 11^th hour is over & time is something we cannot take back.

Sometimes in life we hit a low point & magically, somehow, every new point is a lower one. How is that possible, who knows. It’s just the way the cookie crumbs. It’s kind of like, how did we REALLY get here? OK! NOT going to go there! Save the high talk for when we’re high. Oh, wait,,, LOL. God does write the best soap operas & let’s just say he creates the best characters, too 😉 It reminds me that life, like the Chicagoland weather, is very unpredictable. Fortune is blind & she has no idea what her wheel is spinning! Life is also one big learning experience. It’s so funny. All this melodramatic talk about “life” just reminded me of one of my assistants from China. She was so amusing & cool. We would be talking & she would be like, that’s life, & shake her head tilted to the side. We then made a joke out of it & would always begin to say, that’s life! Speaking of “life,” see, it does take you on some journeys –literally. I mean my life has taken me to live in China! Hell, it’s even allowed me to relocate from Los Angeles to Chicago! See, life is great! It does get better. LOL. On the serious note! I’m fortunate to live a privileged life. Life, on the other hand, can be very beautiful & yes, magical-like. We gotta really learn to take the good with the bad. Let’s not forget one thing, it’s my world & you’re just living in it.

 

Planet Earth has officially gone around the sun one time since I’ve been in Chicagoland. One whole ride! & might I say, A LOT has happened during this one turn. I have grown. Have I matured? Ummm,,, yes! LOL. I’m more than a good time. LOL. I’m also a bad time. LOL. You gotta take the good with the bad! Luckily, there was not so much bad during this rotation. There was a lot of good & that was because I also tried to be a better person. Yes, progress is everything, LOL, but I wanna be an even greater person. I’ve experienced all four seasons. WOW. Autumn is my favourite. Thunder & lightning storms are fun. When the city is freshly snowed in, it is beautiful; it’s like there’s white glitter everywhere. I remember one time I walked in the pouring rain with a box of pizza. [Fatass]. The box was soaked, but the pizza was still good. [Fatass]. I was like, I want my pizza & I ain’t waiting or paying for delivery charge! The weather, like people in general, is unpredictable, at times. There was also a lot of challenges. And no, not like the pizza story. I’ve been on a grind & hustle. I’m always up for a good challenge. Keeps the blood pumping. I am in a better place. I love where I am at. I am happy. Now I can take whatever I have learned during my first rotation, which was a fuckin’ crash course, & incorporate it into my second & make it even better. Because after all, they do say, some things are better the second time around 😉

Twenty-sexteen was one hell of a year. I want to say, only because it feels like this, it keeps getting better. Some, or a lot, say, after you’re 21 it’s all downhill from there. What exactly does that mean? Is it good or is it bad? Because for me, it’s pretty damn good. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had A LOT of downs, but that’s life. I don’t know, I’m probably just overthinking it like I do everything else. Twenty-sexteen,,, what a year! I’ve said this ad nauseam, time is going by so fast! Time is running out. I feel like Matt Bellamy & the white rabbit! I got a lot done, but I still have so much to attend to. I’ve met some great people. I did a lot of travelling & conquering of new land! LOL. I did A LOT of writing! I published my second book. OMFGG!!! & let’s not forget about that twisted, dark, erotic-like serial, Strange Dreams & Other Things. I exercised my photography. Frequented the theatre & even the ballet! I landed a job with a great company & I can’t wait to move on from my position & start a new one. It has taken me some time to get really settled in & situated. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I would know, I’ve been there. I literally have adventures every day. Every day is a new day & the day will start with or without you. I’ve seen a lot, but I haven’t seen it all. I am STILL not done figuring it out, do blonds have more fun? It was twenty-SEXteen after all,,,

Wasted in WisconSIN / dirty30

I had no idea, & still don’t, what my 30s would have instore for me. I just saw it all as I am reaching a new plateau, a new space, a new level of existence. I felt like I was, and am, entering my 30s with a blindfold on having the slightest clue on what to do & which direction to head in. Talk about a crash course! Yeah I learned A LOT in my twenties, but you become a different person when you turn thirty. There is a shift in view, an epiphany-like feeling. Musical chairs anyone? And by anyone I mean the people in my head. It’s a great & at times a little frightening of a feeling, but edginess is what keeps us alive, & modern medicine. I wanted to leave the city for my 30^th. I wasn’t that eager to travel somewhere far for my birthday. I had just come back from an extended vacation in China & frequent trips to Hong Kong, so it was a little safe to say I was OK on the travelling, but with all this grind & hustle, I had to leave the city & take a break! Plus, you only turn 30 once, even if you’re a vampire. I was like, why not Milwaukee? Spend the big 3-0 in the big cheese! I had a gOOd time in Milwaukee. Mill_waaa_keee, Wiss_CONN_sin, as they say it. LOL. It was crazy because my birthday weekend for my 30^th was like a conglomerate of everything from my 20s; I got to revisit everything one last time, one last hoorah! I was definitely wasted in WisconSIN, emphasis on the wasted & sin. LOL. I met some cool people. Milwaukee is like a small Chicago. Lakefront Brewery was cool & Water St.

I returned to Milwaukee when the Brewers played the Cubs. When I heard when they were playing each other, I knew it was going to be a good game. I then heard it gets pretty intense, rivalry-ish. I was like, I’m there! Miller Park / Brewer stadium is a cool field. It has a retractable dome to weather the mid-west weather, so it doesn’t ENTIRELY interfere with the lives of the civilians and what they do for entertainment & leisure. It was cool because even when the dome was closed, every time a homerun was hit there was a firework show. I, again, met some really cool people. There were more Cubs fans at the Brewers game than there were Brewers fans! They definitely have faith in their team! Don’t even asked who I rocked. Oh, & apparently I look just like Ryan Braun. Ironically we’re from the same city & area.

 

Ya’ll come back now!

I’ve always wanted to go to Tennessee. I don’t know why. It’s just called me, like North Carolina. Of which I have yet to conquer. I loved Nashville. It was the definition of ‘fun.’ I met some cool people & satisfied my hunger for southern food. I have to admit, I did not eat much. I was flabbergasted when I saw a Jack in the Box though. I broke my ‘no commercial fast food restaurant while travelling’ rule only because there is no Jack in the Box in Chicagoland. I was like, give it to me! I ate it & then I was like, gross. Maybe my body was in shock because I haven’t had that kind of grease in over a year & ¾! I had another great experience at a lavish hotel. I met some people & next thing I knew I was rocking out at a country music concert that headlined Keifer Sutherland at the Grand Ole Opry House. I walked so much, like I always do whenever I travel. It was funny because I met someone who shared how much she was over LA, having lived there long enough to call it home. I was like, what a coincidence! She too was in search of a fresh start/new beginning, something more than palm trees & sun. We shared similar thoughts of how we feel about the city of angels. You best believe I rocked my jean attire. If only I had a cowboy hat,,, Music is not my forte, although it has crossed my mind to drop a record, but just being surrounded by all the artist & creative energy, it was a great feeling. Recharging and a form of inspiration. I did get some promoting of ‘TCD’ done, & I did feel rather successful of it. All I kept hearing every time I turned my back to leave a place, & even more so of when I was leaving the enchanted land, was, Ya’ll come back now!

Actual Kentucky Fried Chicken

Like Tennessee, I just wanted to go to Louisville. I was like, why the hell not. Plus, I REALLY needed a break from reality, & this trip would roll tandemly into Thanksgiving, my favourite holiday. One of the many benefits of living in Chicago is that I am centrally located to so many locations. A short airplane ride or a few hour drive will get you somewhere new & interesting to check out in no time. After all, time is running out. Plus, with Louisville, I wanted to try actual Kentucky fried chicken. Fried chicken is fried chicken anywhere, but the way actual Kentucky fried chicken in Kentucky taste it does not compare. I busted a sick ass mission to get to a KFC. SICK!! I was like, this shit better be good because I prefer Popeye’s any day. Having fried chicken in Kentucky is like going to Paris & seeing the Eifel Tower. I purposely broke my ‘no commercial fast food restaurant while travelling’ on this one. KFC in Kentucky was not yummy, it was fuckin’ yammy. It was gOOd! & in my favour the cashier took the wrong order, so I got two meals for the price of one! Hhhhheeeeyyyy!! On the way to finding the KFC, having walked 3 fuckin’ miles because I wanted to see the city & not pay for a lyft, I eventually took a lyft home, I discovered lots of other fried chicken joints. They were all cash only & they were gOOd. By my hotel, & while on my KFC journey, I passed by the Brown Hotel. I was like, I’m gonna go there! It looked like it had hiSTORY all over it! Its spirit drew me. My last day there I went & tried their signature dish, Hot Brown. It was gOOd! My mouth is now watering. Louisville is a cool place. I didn’t market ‘TCD’ as much as I wanted to, but I incorporated it alright. & where I did, it had an effect. It was soooo pretty there! The colorful leaves, the brick & vintage homes. Some of the civilians looked sketchy, but they were nice. Sadly there’s a lot of poverty there. I learned a lot about Bourbon. I learned about the city. I learned there are A LOT of spirits in Old Louisville still roaming around. It was a very ‘brown’ and warm holiday. The success story of Colonel Sanders is like nothing else. Such inspiration.

Return to LA

I haven’t really missed LA. I’ve thought, when will I go back? Life is too crazy & good to be like, oh I miss LA. Sad face. Then I was like, if I go to California, I wanna hit up Napa & SF. I don’t hate LA. I love it, & no matter where life or my career shall take me I will forever be an Angeleno. I just didn’t know when I was going to revisit it. I’m still on sabbatical! Then I was on the phone with a friend one day & I was like, well, I guess I could take an extended weekend vacay break there?!? Then I was like screw it! Why the hell not?!? I didn’t want to spend the holidays there though. LOL. Then when I saw how much my ticket was going to be, I was like, I am DEFINITELY going! My ticket was so cheap I would’ve been stupid not to go. It was a sign! Time to revisit my stomping grounds! This trip back home was one big revisitation trip. I got no marketing done all I did was have fun. Maybe toooo much fun. I hung out with some old friends. It was great & I am VERY thankful for everyone who went out of their way to see me. I revisited some old favourite eateries. I had plans to try new ones, & I think I did –from what I CAN remember of the trip – LOL!! Ironically I ended up at a Clippers game with some sickass seats. I FINALLY got to see The Broad Museum, which is a GREAT museum. There is SO MUCH good artwork there. I got to revisit my love, Hollywoodland. I got to celebrate Pagago’s birthday with her! A little early! LOL! It’s weird because there was enough time & then there wasn’t. Then I concluded, I needed to go home. Home, home, Chicago home. When I got back to Chicago, I had an awakening, a moment of realization. I realized I am VERY happy where I am at & I did make a good decision on moving on from home/ LA, not that I ever regretted or questioned moving or leaving, but to get that answer unknowingly & unwillingly is great. It’s a personal message only you can deliver to yourself & only you interpret the way it is supposed to sound. When I returned to LA it was like I had never left. & it was so funny listening to people say, it’s cold & watching them bundle up in clothes. I’m like, busta please! I just left 14 degree weather. It’s nearly 65. Then I was like, well, most of these people are maybe trying to make a fashion statement? Who knows when I will return to LA again?

A Plan B that has always been a Plan A / Start the New Year out with a Bang

So I always say I’ve always had the urge to go here & there & don’t really have an explanation why, which is true to the max, but I’ve always wanted to, especially as of late, go to Minneapolis. I’ve always thought it would be a cool city to check out. I like, “YA [Young Adult].” I actually just borrowed it from the library, again! I love the ‘Walsh’ family & I should’ve put more effort into finding their house! I get a good feeling about Minneapolis. I know it’s one of the coldest cities in America & they have no clothing or food tax! Minneapolis for New Year’s wasn’t the original plan. Canada was. Canada was just another spare of the moment idea. But the plans changed when one of the attendees learned his passport was expired. So Minneapolis it was! I couldn’t be more excited. Canada can wait. It was cold. But for Minnesotans, it was a warm day. I did some damage there & had a GREAT time. I loved it all. Plus, it was New Year’s. Time for a new & start the New Year out with a bang & that is EXACTLY what I did –pun intended 😉 My friends & I hit up Mall of America. It was cool. Did some shopping, dining, drinking –LOL! & some roller coaster riding –pun intended. LOL. It was great. My friend was going to meet a friend while we were up there & his friend booked reservations at a place for brunch, LUSH. It turns out this place puts on drag shows, so it was this huge thing. It was great & entertaining. The food was good. The mimosas, I don’t know though. I swear I had about 60 & still felt nothing. I had a good time. I went with some good people & met some cool people. I didn’t no marketing for ‘TCD’ there, but it’s OK! Because everyone needs some leisure time. It’s not like I’m not marketing in other ways. Minnesota reminded me of Portland, & I LOVED Portland. I am so fortunate. I’m also fortunate to experience another time where the last minute plans turn out to be the best! Until next time, Minnesota!

108 years is a long time. A LONG! Some people say, wow, they’re that shitty that it took them, the Cubs, 108 years to win another series? But the way I see it, it shows that they fought to get what they wanted even if it took a century. It shows you to never give up! Even if it takes a century to accomplish it.

The first time I came to the White City, which ironically occurred a few Novembers ago, I was like, I HAVE TO GO THERE! I was so intrigued by the stadium. I’ve always had a fascination with Wrigley Field & the Cubs. When Pagogo decided she was coming to town, I was like, we should go to a game! & then ironically I was like, OMFGG! The Cubs are playing the Dodgers! & in case you didn’t know, I’m from LA, & in case you didn’t know, baseball is my favourite sport! Well, besides,,, never mind! I was like, we have to go! I was torn on which blue to bleed. & yes, I got shit for it, but I rocked my Cubs gear! I was torn, as I always am, but I was like, screw it! Courtesy of my Pagogo, we got some gOOd tickets & it was a great time! But to my defense, when the Dodgers came back for the playoffs, I did rock my Dodger gear.

[When it finally hit me] I thought it was a little ironic that ‘A League of Their Own,’ one of my top four favourite movies, is set where I am currently located. I was a little excited when I learned that Rockford is an actual place. As is Racine, Kenosha, & South Bend. For the record, I’ve seen a lot, I haven’t seen it all. I remember being in my seat at Wrigley Field thinking, this IS ‘Harvey field!’ The Ivy, the aisles.

What’s even more interesting is the way it goes back to life imitating art, art imitating art; the comparison of the movie & the victory for our precious cubbies, the journey. The Indians leading, The Belles leading. The Cubs fighting back, the Peaches fighting back. The 3-3 tie. How one of the members on the Indians is from Chicago & grew up a Cubs fan & then having to compete against them for the world series, competing against ‘what he knew.’ Which is very similar to ‘Kit’s’ turn of events getting traded at the last moment & having to compete against everyone she knew.

I felt obliged to tune into the series. With my schedule as busy as it is being a rockstar & all, & “avoid[ing] the clap,” I had to incorporate time into tuning in. I was even willing to be old school & listen to it on the radio, but then I learned my damn ipod doesn’t get AM frequency! WTF Apple!?!? & FYI, maybe you should consider your airpods, too. I owed it to myself, I owed it to the true baseball fan I am. “Baseball is what gets inside you. It’s what lights you up, you can’t deny that.”

During the World Series, the whole city was electrified. It was a great feeling I could not brush off. & as it is, Chicago is a very prideful city that invests into itself A LOT. I mean, they should. The taxes are so damn high here!

I found myself investing more time & energy into the city where I currently call home. I was proud & happy to be here, more than what I standardly feel. & up until just yesterday, I realized after “bam, it hit me right in the head,” I realized I have a REALLY big crush on Chicago. I think I’m in love. Discovering what ‘Fly the W’ really means. Constantly seeing the slogan, go Cubs go! Laughing & thinking it’s a little silly & cheesy, but then having a sort of epitome of it all & thinking, it all makes sense! I was the one who felt cheesy, silly, & stupid. & then when the Cubs FINALY won after thinking, “we’re gonna won!” after going into an extra inning  & after the infamous rain delay, having the place where I was at bump & repeat the song, Go Cubs Go, it all made sense!! I tweeted, proudly, waved that fucking W! Looks like I didn’t just trade my palm trees for willow trees, I also traded my Westside W for Wrigley. It was such a good game. It was thrilling. Everyone was jumping for joy. Mind you, it was a work night, a school night, a late night, but that didn’t stop anyone from celebrating. Then, when nearly everyone on the streets decided to hit up Wrigley field it was even more electrifying! It was magical. Maybe it had to do with the new moon? Half of Chicago either called in sick, or showed up to work still trashed the next day. I swear, I don’t know how I made it to work. Never underestimate, or take for granted, your internal alarm clock. I wanted to cry watching the over the top proud expression the players had as they sprayed champagne everywhere & laughed & cheered & jumped for joy & collided into each other unit first – it definitely was baseball! But then I remembered one thing, “there’s no crying in baseball.” I felt so proud. I could relay to what they were feeling, the feeling of accomplishment. The feeling that not everyone gets to experience because, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.” I am so lucky to have experience it all. It then reminded me that I was in Boston when the Red Sox were in the World Series a few years ago. I then couldn’t help but think, am I baseball’s good luck charm? LMFAO!!!! Some might say it was better that I stopped playing! LOL. & then I remembered, sadly, it’s not all about me. & then I was like, “Oh, piss on your hat!” Til this day, after all these years & no matter how many times I have seen it, ‘A League of Their Own’ still hits me where it hurts & where I’m soft & it makes me ball more than ever. I guess it hits a little too close to home. & then I realized, the Cubs, the Cubs are in ‘A League of Their Own.’

 

As it is, I’ve always been capable to create things, make people, set trends, but most of all I’ve been able to create a language that only I & another individual, and on occasion a group, could only decipher. But being a sea horse, or octopus, or otter rather, out of the Pacific Ocean, using my Californian lingo in the Middle West, or on the other side of the globe because after all I am global, I come across as a little [more] foreign. Pun intended. Some of the things I say sound off. People don’t really understand me, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I talk fast and just am a fast paced person in general, but what’s interesting is seeing the reaction when one hears my lingo and then their reaction when they learn what that lingo is translated to. What’s more interesting is catching those people use my lingo! Oh, to being a trendsetter, and not just a jetsetter. [champagne glasses cling]. Don’t forget who made you!

For instance, the word ‘down’ has multiple meanings, to me. It could mean a form of bravery. It can act as a proposal for something, etc. I’m not here to explain myself. ‘Bust’ is a MAJOR one. I mean it as laughing [really hard]. It’s funny because the things I create end of sticking to other people & what’s even funnier is that people who don’t like me, for some odd reason, because why would anyone not like me? I mean, I me, what is there not to like? Wait! I can think of a few,,, my youthful looks, my hot body, my sense of style, my ambition, I’m well-travelled, I’m educated, I’m published, I’m from LA, I’ve been on TV, the radio, the internet, need I say more?!? Wow, am here I am wondering why some people don’t like me,,, [emoji looking up with my hand on my chin] I will add, as I have said it before, if I was not me, I would sooo date me. Anyhow, it amazes me how people who don’t like me still have the nerve to use my shit! Don’t forget who made you, bitch!

I have had to bust a “Jawbreaker” and tell a few bitches, “don’t forget who made you!” When bitches get out of line, and quite the bitches get out of line. I swear, people take my kindness for granted. But once you have crossed that line, there is a point of no return.

Speaking of loose terms, or just plain loose, I couldn’t help but bust [laugh] because when I, one of the few low millions, sadly, was watching “Scream Queens,” they started talking about ‘ghosting’ and what it “really” means. Nothing belongs to anything. All the examples of ‘ghosting’ seemed legitimately correct. I’ll leave you to watch the episode and determine for yourself. Maybe then the viewership will jump up 10, or so. LMFAO! I like “Scream Queens.” I think season 1 was great!

Back to me, as always. I was busting because I was having 2 different conversations with 2 different people at 2 different times, OK, maybe it was like with 5 different people, because some times I am a chatty Cathy, and when Cathy is around, I’m chatty Patty. Patty is never around because that bitch is an attention whore and we can’t be in the same room together. Anyhow, we were conversing, and I was like, OMG! OK, not really OMG, more so oh my god! and I was like, yeah, and then I had to ‘bust a mission.’ The listener then looked at me a little confused and was like, what did you say? I was like, oh yeah! I forgot, I basically had to spell everything out as if I were a teacher in China teaching English to people who were going to forget in an hour and had to have regular talk. I then was like, oh yeah. [lol in my mind. But then it wouldn’t be ‘ol’ just ‘l’ or giggle] and then I had to clarify myself and by this time I was exhausted explaining what I am trying to explain about and be like, I went out of my way and jumped through hoops of fire, and then I was like, wait, I have to explain what I mean by hoops of fires,,, and then I was over it and was like, bitch, I’m over you like I’m over my job, and I am soooo over my job! Common sense is not so common. Gee, can I get a water break.

I was then talking to my stalker, and I was like, dude, you’re burning me out! And this person was like, what do you mean by that? And this person wouldn’t shut up about ‘burning me out.’ I wanted to shout, what f’n planet are you from?!?! It means you’re getting on my f’n nerves! And then I realized I had no room to talk because I’m originally from Neptune before I settled in California, so I was like, that’s a ‘bust.’

I guess it’s all over! The brits [emoji with hearts in the eyes] have an odd sense of humour, which I love, and a broad sense of sarcasm. And some of the things they say sound really foreign. I guess it all depends on where you’re from. And no, I don’t mean that in a gang-bangin’ way, homie. I actually mean it. Like a certain crop of people who talk ridiculously absurd and ghetto to each other, and to anyone it sounds horrific, offensive, and ghetto, but to them it is love. I’m just like, get me out of here so I don’t have to hear this!! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! People are who they are. Speaking of people,,, The people from the south are in a world of their own! I can’t wait to check it out! Then I can really be like, ya’ll come back now! I’m glad I learned what ‘bless your heart’ means before I take a trip to the south and say that all over town only to be chased out by villagers with flaming torches! Imagine that? Some say ‘tomato,’ some say ‘toe-ma-toe’; some say ‘Otter,’ I say ‘genius.’ I will say what annoys me is the stereotype people assume of the people from ‘The Valley.’ & I mean the actual ‘Valley’ – The San Fernando Valley! Don’t get it twisted, bitch! Like how when people talk about ‘The Valley’ and refer to it and then they start saying, yeah, like totally, for sure! Like OMG! I’m just like STFU! First off, I don’t even know if that ever existed! And second off, you’ve probably never been there and but act like you have but can’t seem to get out of your village of 200 –at the most! I’m just like, if anything, people talk gangster there! LMFAO!! JK! The Valley isn’t soooooo bad. I’ll just do anything I can to live as close to Ventura Blvd if I ever move back there. The Valley is home, well, Beverly Hills is home, but I’m H O P I N G you get the picture. I would say speak freely, but sadly you can’t really do that without being deemed as a racist or terrorist, or before someone considers your comment harassment, etc. Are we safe anymore? Hell – fuckin’ – no! This country is NOT what the founding fathers established, but that’s a whole other story!

Some of my favourite sayings that most people don’t [always] catch off guard, and no, I am not taking credit for these!

Bless your heart

Go die

Go pound sand

Go fly a kite

They shoot horses, don’t they?

 

Everyone’s always saying, including yours truly, the year is going by [so] fast, time is flying,  yadayadayada, but on four specific days of the year the days are long as hell. Today was that day: autumn equinox.

It was a weird day. I sensed it when I woke. Thursdays, and Fridays, are usually my favourite days of the week, but on occasion a Thursday will turn out “not the bizzz,” which is what kind of happened, but I tried to stay on the positive side. This day was a little trying. The system crashed at work -spoiler alert – sounds like a part, or two, of volume two of The Cubicle Diaries. Nothing was getting done, as always, & I couldn’t help but think, is life imitating art or is art imitating life? Anyhow, I also couldn’t help but think, I am sooooo over summer! It’s the closing of one thing, and the opening of another. How cliche? I know. But fuck it & in a sense fuck you. LOL. I like summer, but it is my least favourite season. Everyone, prior to summer launching, was always like, Chicago in the summer is the shit! Well, I can finally say, been there, rocked that. It was cool, except for the harsh humidity. I’m used to constant, direct, dry, nearly blithering heat. And as for them jitterbugs, we’re cool for the summer, & for those still around, there’s still fall and winter 😉 where things really get interesting. I am excited for the fall. I love the fall. It is my favourite season. Summer is overrated. I do like spring, I am a spring baby, but the fall holds my black heart. And if I get technical, the other half of me is a fall baby –half birthday!

When thinking of the fall, it reminded me of being in China, where I prepared for “real” weather, and then I starting reminiscing about the mid-autumn festival China celebrates. And then I thought, Oh China. I liked who I was there. I still like who I am now, don’t get it twisted. I mean, what is there not to like about me?!? LOL. & speaking of China, let’s not forget about Strange Dreams & Other Things. Then I started thinking about my muse that underscored nearly the entire piece, because after all, every writer needs his muse.

Anyhow, all this”aligning of the stars” just makes people all the more crazier. Equinoxes, full moons, solstices, horoscopes, etc. All these magical and mystical things that have so many meanings, but in reality, what is the truth of it all? Is there any truth? George Herbert wrote, is there in truth no beauty? Well, we all know the truth hurts & it can be ugly. We think we know it all, but all everything is is an educated guess. And what’s funny is that some of the best guesses come from the uneducated. LOL! That was a cheesy joke, of which I am good at. LOL. But then all this also reminds me of timing & how timing is everything. But is time always on our side? I’m excited for the new season. I’m lucky because I will get to experience “real” weather, which is what I opted for, and in case you didn’t know, Chicago is pretty known for its unpredictable weather. Oh, Chicago.

September 22, autumn equinox, was a pretty long day. It had quite the twists and turns. And I don’t think I was the only one who felt like that. I try not to have a negative outlook, but sometimes the ESP comes out and just gives you a heads up that things may get shitty and intense. And then I thought of good ‘ol Fleetwood Mac, can I handle the seasons of my life? I’m excited to have a good dry breeze, overcast and gloom; leaves turning colours: the whole shebang. And then my favourite holiday, Thanksgiving, and NO it’s not my favourite holiday because I am a rhinoceros, I just like it. I like the month of November. I mean I also like the month of October, and of course May, but November, for some strange reason, has always had a hold of me. Summer’s golden thread has dwindled to it’s last piece; 2016 is no longer young. It’s fire will soon be turning to a glow, but it’s still not over; so much can still be done. I wanna still 2016 is still thriving, just not as bright. Time may be going by fast, but has it gone by too fast to the point where you feel unaccomplished? 2016 is not over yet, so try to make the best of it, and gather up yo shit and have one last good hoorah before it’s too late. So with that said, autumn equinox, happy harvesting.

 

 

You’re from LA, why in the hell are you in Chicago, and when I’m not in Chicago, Why in the hell are you in Illinois?

OMG! You’re a writer? You wrote a book? I love reading!

Here’s something for you to write about / put in your book

Hello ma’am [when I’m on the phone with someone]

Yeah, I’ll call you

Yeah, I’m down!

[When I’m at work] Are you new? I’ve never had this many questions asked me before; or I’ve never had this many issues before & I always call.

According to ancient symbolism, the spider is depicted as a representation of growth, mystery, and power. That can be a shocker to some because a lot of people are scared shitless of spiders. They’re freaky and creepy and sneaky, so we see them as, but in reality, they’re smart. They can spin their own webs, and when spun right, they’re beautiful, and spiders never go down with a fight. Spiders are calculating and always 8 steps ahead of their prey. My “superstition” of a spider is that when you see one hanging from the ceiling of your penthouse apartment someone is going to visit you. Later down the line, someone told me that crossing a spider, or having a spider appear out of nowhere, meant that money is coming your way. I can’t help but agree with the two because I have experienced both when I’ve crossed a spider. I moved into a new apartment, which I LOVE, and I was a little alarmed when I noticed how many damn spiders there were outside of my window. And I’m not talking about one or two, these mofos are dying to kick it and are inviting all their damn homies to stay at my window front. I’m like, WTF?!? And I’m in Chicago where wildlife is not afraid to roam, and oh yeah, lots of bugs. LOL. Anyhow, I’m like WTF?!? I’m on the 3rd floor, so I can’t just sweep them away, or brush them off, LOL! so I’m like WTF do I do?!? I’d have to take the screen off and hope they don’t find a way in and multiply and really take over my new apartment I love. And then I was like, screw it. I’m gonna let these busters be. They will die, crawl onto someone else’s ledge, and get blown away, because after all I do live in the Windy City –LMFAO! Or they’ll just wash out when the rain comes in. Yes, it rains quite frequently over here in the summer, and all that damn spider will do is climb up the spout when the suns comes out and live all over again. Yes, that was a nod to the nursery rhyme! LMAO. Anyhow, so the curiosity in me came out. Why in the hell are all these spiders just kicking it at my window pane?!? Is everyone’s ledge this?!? IDK. I was like, what does this all mean? What is the story behind this all? What is the meaning of all this? Then the pre and post English came out in me. I swear, I should’ve studied philosophy with the way I question everything. I was like, this has a meaning. The signs are there I must follow them. I then turn to that society ruiner called the internet and did some researching. I was surprised when I learn of the “ancient meaning,” and then I thought, it all makes sense! I then thought of ‘Spiderman.’ Mystery, growth, and power. Personally I feel attached to all three. Meeting new people and sharing some of my stories, and sometimes just being a figure there, people always tell me that they want to pick at my brain. I find that flattering and amusing, and then I think, am I really that amusing, interesting, and mysterious to where people need to pick at my brain and unpack me? I’LL TAKE IT! [#Narcissist]. And then there is growth. I have grown sooooo much. I mean, I’m still growing! I did just enter my 30s, BTW. My dirty30s, BTW. Wink, wink. I’m constantly growing. It’s all psychological. But what about when your psychological is all distorted and all you are is a psycho? And then there is power. Power is like money, it comes and goes. When we don’t have it, we hate the life out of life. And when we have it, some are like the nouveau riche who don’t know how to use it and it all ends up backfiring on them, that’s actually a nod to my second book, Friends Close, Coworkers Closer. The spider spins its web, like Fortune spins her wheel, and entraps it prey to succumb to them. Because after all, the wheel of fortune is constantly spinning and it is not always in our favor, and we, too, have to succumb to her, but that doesn’t mean I think Fortune is a spider, but it has been said that Fortune is blind, and that’s because we never know how things will turn out. So, back on track,,, it reminds me of one of my many cliches I use, you have tangled yourself into a really sticky web…, and everything, like always, just had me thinking. And then I was like, oh, it’s just the gods reminding of the ‘extraordinary’ being I am. Mind you, some of these suckers were HUGE! I was like, oh no. But a piece of me did want to see it traps its prey, and I kind of got to, but things didn’t end up going well for one of the spiders. A black wasp [freaky!] flew into the web, and like a sneakyass, the spider appeared out of nowhere ready to attack and feast. I was like, OMG, a showdown is about to happen! And sure enough one did. The black wasp and a spider, that wasn’t so big compared to some of the others, started going at it. I seriously did not know who was going to win. And then the black wasp took control over the altercation, LOL, probably stung the spider and flew off with it attached to it body. It was a pretty intense scene. I was like, WOW. And, again, I can’t help but think, what does this all mean?! And then I hear one of the many voices in my head saying, get the fuck over it you overthinker! Talk about negative thoughts! So now, because I am an old soul, I look at spiders differently. They have a whole other meaning to what they can be perceived or assumed as. Talk about stereotypes. I mean, I thought people loved ‘Charlotte’ — Charlotte’s Web — LMFAO! But there we all go just assuming things because all we are are just a bunch of knowitalls, and yadayadayada. But I learned something of all this. I have a different interpretation of spiders. I no longer see them as a disgusting piece of wildlife, I see them as interesting creatures with many explanation to be made of them. All it really means is, that like wolves, and the black rose, spiders are misunderstood and misrepresented. Maybe they’re not so bad after all, but you best believe, if I have to, I won’t think twice about killing one if it comes near me.