Retrograde Mercury

DSCF1291 (2)

Why is everyone so gaga, & for some, alarmed, about this Mercury retrograde?!? Why all of a sudden? It’s cracks me up because people who aren’t even into astrology or cosmology are all into it, worried, making their own assumption of things. [Some people are just full of shit]. I’m just like, please, stop! Why, all of a sudden, is the media publishing articles about blood moons, blue moons, & super moons. It’s nice, really nice, they’re acknowledging them, yes, but how many of you actually paid attention in class? You’re only following it because it’s a form of trend? It’s also nice, however, to see other articles being published other than all this goddamn “racist” shit, or other articles about the President of the United States of America. It’s become sooooooooooo annoying how nothing can be said or done without being called a “racist.” A comedian, or comedienne, can’t even do their job for Christ’s sake! Everyone’s so offended & yadayadayada. How about this: GET THE FUCK OVER IT! Like they’re all so perfect. People set themselves up for failure. Jokes are meant to be made. The definition of racism is not what it used to be, it’s abused now. But when a certain individual race makes fun of their own race, it’s permissible?!? Society & double standards: the way it’s going, will it [now] ever be understood; everyone is an enemy? Anyhow, this isn’t about that, there’s too much of that going on. This is about the current Mercury retrograde in action. Is all that’s allegedly going on just a hoax, a superstition? We all have our assumptions & beliefs, but what exactly are the facts, especially when it comes to the behavior and lives of others? So many questions, & like always, not enough answers. But what I think we can vouch for, and act off of, is our own experiences. & in order to reflect off those experiences, one must be into astrology & pay attention!

Back to me, because after all, this is my page. I’m obsessed with the moon. I’ve shared that before, countless times, especially its dark side. 😉 I think strange, & magical, things happen when the stars align. I’ve read a few articles on the current Mercury retrograde. They share similar & various things. What I’ve took away was that it basically tells you to put your life on hold & don’t do anything drastic. OK… What about that saying, life goes on? I’m not going to put my life on hold 3 times a year for almost 2-3 weeks. I can’t even do a cleanse that many times! It’s not recommended. LOL. I’ll admit, since this retrograde occurred, I’ve witnessed certain odd things happen. That’s because I’m aware of it, & it helps being an observer. I can’t help but ask myself, is it all a coincidence? Timing? They say, timing is everything. Personally, I don’t see the retrograde as something bad. Sometimes in life we must take a few steps back in order to move forward & really thrive. I know the steps I took back, recently, & like everything else, I saw it as a lesson learned. Life is full of lessons, trials, & tribulations, but will we really learn from our mistakes? For every action there is a [chain] reaction. Do some really want to better themselves, or are they loving the fact that they’re chasing their tail like a dog looking like an idiot? I don’t like making the same mistakes twice, but sometimes we have to do things a few times in order to really figure things out. I’ve learned nothing comes that easy. Life has a funny way of working & it’s always talking to you. Another question I can’t help but ask is, are the aliens this OMFGG about the retrograde? Do they even care? What do they know. Imagine all that we don’t know & what’s really going on out there?

I’ve also heard it wasn’t just Mercury in retrograde, it’s 6 other planets! Um, it now really has me thinking, is the whole fucking solar system going backwards?!? Who knows?! But actually, I’m not alarmed because I’m pretty backwards myself… It’s already been proved what’s available on the world wide web is controlled. Hell, even my blog is controlled, because if I really published what I thought & felt, I’d be in A LOT of trouble. Some things are better left unsaid; it’s also good to keep ‘em guessing. 😊 What people don’t know won’t hurt them, or will it? Everyone has their own ideas & ASSumptions.

Is the retrograde something to be alarmed about? Is it to blame for the wackiness of others? People don’t like admitting fault, & everyone has an excuse for everything. What about when it’s not occurring?! What’s the excuse then? I also recall reading an article that there may be some miscommunication/ tension between one & his coworkers. Hmmm, I’ve experienced that in real life, yes. & yes, my coworkers, especially as of late, have got on my goddamn nerves! But they’re not worth the typing, not this time around. & speaking of coworkers… “The Cubicle Diaries: Volume III” is under construction, & baby, it’s GOOD! I’m soooo excited for it! Stay tuned. A lot can happen in a day, but a lot can also happen until August 19th. May the force be with you.




I love my apt. I love the layout of it. I love that it’s vintage-ish. I love being home. I feel like I can really call it “home.” It’s in the biggest building I’ve lived in thus far. Actually, my China apartment, which I LOVED, was just as good & in a bigger building. I don’t miss California, per se, but I do miss Hollywood & the last apartment I lived in there. Anyhow, I love my current housing situation. I’m fortunate. I live right by the train, have great eateries in my neighbourhood, & of course, a library. Sometimes I force myself to get out because I get too comfortable. We should never live too comfortably, by the way. My neighbourhood has nearly everything. I also live right by the “beach.” I traded beaches for lakes. Hey, if it has sand, a current, a lifeguard, & the word “beach” in the name of the location, it’s a damn beach! I like my property manager. I also have a great street view. In front of my windows I have trees, so I can have some public privacy when my shades, not stunners, are up & open. Sometimes I’ll sit on my couch & ponder & watch people as they pass by. I’m a spectator.

In the winter, the trees are naked, their souls are exposed [“Nymphomaniac” vol. I & II]. In the spring & summer the trees are full & green. Last year I wrote about constantly seeing spiders in my window pane. I saw all sorts of kinds. I was a little alarmed, but then I thought, like always, life is talking to me. My English senses came to me; we must read the signs! I looked up spiders & was relieved.


As of late, which I thought was very strange because I’m infatuated with this animal, I’ve been seeing many blackbirds. So much irony here. I love them, ravens the most, & crows are cool & interesting, but are there crows in the middle west? Sometimes I can’t tell the difference. I also love Edgar Allen Poe, & let’s not forget his infamous work, The Raven. Plus, I love “One Tree Hill” & ravens are always there. Aside from basketball & drama, ravens underscore the entire series. If it weren’t called “One Tree Hill,” it was going to be called “Ravens.” Anyhow, I’ve visited his grave, EAP’s, by the way & that was a whhhoollllle other ironic experience. What I thought was ironic [now] was those beautiful little blackbirds began to visit me, especially in the winter. Aren’t they supposed to fly South? Especially during them Midwestern winters? There were flocks of them. They were even tweeting, not Twitter/ social media status! & singing & fluttering merrily. It brought so much joy to me. It reminded me of my magical time in Portland where I crossed them, too. Strange. “We spend much of our lives seeing without observing.” –A.Warhol. I thought, again, life is talking to me. So, what did I do? I looked up blackbirds. They say, blackbirds represent knowledge & intelligence. I couldn’t believe it. Life was sending me signs of knowledge & intelligence. We can never have too much. With those comes confidence & with confidence you can do anything. You can also do anything with a lot of money, but I’m not there yet. In life, we have a purpose & I want to do as much as I possibly can. I know a lot, but I don’t know everything. I’m still learning & like a lot of things in life I’ve learned, I’ve learned the hard way. But all its done is make my character richer & grander. Sadly, I still make mistakes, not necessarily the same ones, thank God, but I’m only human… or am I?

Blackbirds also lead to represent transition & transformation. Very, very ironic!! I want to say I am exiting a major trial & tribulation stage of my life. I’m a different person now than what I was before. I like to believe a better one. Living in Chicago, I’m living a whole other life — in a great way, not a con-artist type of way. I feel that I’m maturing & growing & becoming more knowledgeable & I do strive to be a better person. Every day is a new day. Every day offers something new. I’m all about reinvention. Is it because I’m from Hollywood? No. Hollywood helped me embrace it. I’ve also learned to not let fame & success get to my head. It’s OK to be happy one day, sad the next, lazy after that, hyper & cracked out after that & then want to be alone. I won’t deem you as “bipolar.” I might ask if you wanna kick it! Most fear change, but don’t you find something wrong always answering when someone asks you, what’s going on? & you find yourself answering, same old’, same old’? How about same old’ lame old’! Every time someone asks me that, I try to give a new & different answer each & every time. But that’s just me. If you’re content on where you are, then so be it. How are you ever going to get anywhere if you don’t challenge yourself? From what I’ve learned in the past will guide me, hopefully. In life, we must be bold. It’s OK to be scared, but don’t express that emotion. People will use that against you. That I’ve learned. People, like Hollywood, love to pick you up & bring you down. Although, I’m happy with this stage of life, I’m also ready for my next transition & transformation. [See “Phoenix,” “Clouded Judgment.”] & it’s because knowledge & intelligence & transformation has got me here to understand there is more to life than what we have now.




People always say, ‘Once in a blue moon…’ Do people even know where that derived from? Do they even know what that means? Do they even know what a ‘blue moon’ is? I’m sure not. & I’m not referring to the beer either. Just people, like usual, talking about things they don’t know.

Every month gets 1 full moon. But when a month gets 2 full moons, the second one is known as the ‘blue moon.’ It doesn’t happen often, hence the phrase ‘once in a blue moon.’ What’s interesting about this blue moon is that it also serves as a ‘blood moon.’

So many interesting things going on here.

The first full moon of 2018 landed on the first day of the year. Very ironic. It was named the ‘wolf moon.’ The second full moon is exactly 30 days later. Someone, or something, is punctual. Again, this blue moon also serves as a blood moon. The cross between blue and red, what is it?! What’s also interesting is blood ties into vampires, which crosses with wolves. Let’s not forget the moon bookends the month. I’m seeing a pattern; counters to each other. What does this suggest about 2018? What are we instore for? I feel something great –& magical. Also, interesting. What has January, 2018 told us? Have we listened? Have we followed the signs? Would it be any different if the moons landed on the 2nd and 30th, or something of that nature? Ha! Nature! Am I just overthinking it, like I do everything else? Am I making this up to make sense? Is it my vivid imagination running wild? Whatever it is, it’s a curiosity I cannot kill. It’s all reeled me in. There seems to be more questions than answers. I’m obsessed with the moon, especially it’s dark side. As I rode the train this morning, all I did was stare at it, the moon that is. It just hung there, fully illuminated living up to its name and characteristics. I like and practice photography, but not even I can do it justice, with or without a professional camera. Only a real professional could capture it, & I’m not talking about help with their filter and editing friends either. Is the moon just waiting for the sun? Is it cooking up its mystical powers and then letting them simmer? Is it laughing at us because we have no idea what the future holds, and in a sense controls our behaviours and moods? The moon is powerful. It’s known to rift the tides. Let’s not forget ‘Lunartics.’ See ‘Strange Dreams & Other Things’ serial I. It had an obvious orange tint even the colorblind would be able to enjoy and see. According to the internet, and it’s more than likely true because everything on the internet is true, this moon also serves as a super moon, which means it’s even bigger and more visible and easier on the eyes. Even someone with negative vision would be able to see beauty. Whatever it is, it’s magical. & whether we’re listening or not, mother nature & outer space is treating us with a beautiful, fun filled gift; something we don’t get all the time. But what’s most important, to me at least, is that this is a reminder, a reminder in accordance with the full moon in general, because after the moon is full & has done its thing, after it is all said and done, it begins a new phase, a new stage, a new beginning, and that is, let go what no longer serves you; no matter how hard it is, move forward, move on, just move! Sometimes in life we take steps back to only to take greater steps forward.

So, light your candle, burn your sage, grab a Blue Moon and enjoy the blue moon. It’s OK to dwell on what was, but it’s important to ponder on what could be, and maybe, what is. As for you vampires out there, feed. I know this one must 😉


2018: Let Go What No Longer Serves You

2018 has finally arrived. 2017 was crazy, & not in any negative way, shape, or form, but I am glad it is over. I’m ready for anew. I’m ready to let go what no longer serves me. What’s interesting about the start of this new year is that tonight, January 1, 2018, we have a full moon, a supermoon, the wolf moon. Light your candles, burn your sage, if needed, focus on what you want from life, focus on the greatness of the upcoming year, & more importantly, let go what no longer serves you. The wolf moon launches the year, right at the year! What a sign of cleansing, newness. For the Chinese it will be year of the dog. Lots of dogs going around. They are, after all, man’s best friend. Wolves are interesting characters, ,definitely misunderstood. What’s also interesting is the year begins on a Monday. What a kick-off!



One year ago I was in Minneapolis. I went to celebrate New Years. I walked into the hotel elevator, turned around, & saw this writing. I thought it was so iRONic. I felt like life was talking to me. In English, I was trained to follow the signs, more so than I already knew. Out of all hotels, out of all cities, out of all elevators, out of all sayings. What’s funny was I was originally going to go somewhere completely different & Minneapolis was where it was concluded to be. Suddenly my ears grew wide like a dog’s. I got excited. I smirked. I knew 2017 was going to be adventurous & I knew it was going to begin in the ‘mini apple.’ That was my green light. I knew the gods had my back. As I wrapped up this year, I couldn’t help but think of this picture, & obviously this time/ memory. I had a good NYE. I started the new year out with a bang, if you know what I mean 😉 & I think I’ve concluded it solid. I’ve always had a passion for Minnesota. Why? I have no idea. I find it interesting. Plus, ‘Brenda Walsh’ used to live there, so…

The picture says, “Tomorrow is the first blank page of 365 page book. Write a good one.” I feel like I wrote a good one; a dramatic, entertaining, scandalous, fresh, tumultuous, split second romantic one. 2017 was a lot. Definitely two-parts. I experienced a lot of things I hadn’t in the past. Lots of new story lines. It was also different approaches of things I had experienced. Who doesn’t love a reboot or a revamp. I have to admit, this picture didn’t just pop into my head recently, it’s popped in & out of my head throughout the year. It reminded me that I must make everything good & fun & exciting & worth my while because it is my life & things are only what you make of them. Don’t ever expect things to just fall into your lap. Maybe someone’s head, yeah, but your true aspirations & dreams & wants, you need to go & get them. & yes, maybe when you’re out going & getting them, then maybe they’ll fall into your lap, but until then, don’t be naive. Luck will visit, but never stick around and stay. Plus, we all need solid fans, so do something edgy on occasion. Believe me, this year I had the good & the bad. & because of that, I am a better, stronger, well-rounded –not a fat joke, but I’ll take it as one!–person. My character is more developed. This character can do nearly anything, this character is just about larger than life. Again, not another fat joke on myself. This character still has flaws. Am I still the anti-hero? Sure, maybe. Whatever! If it means better story lines then fuck it! Why be normal?!? I am definitely the lead! As for climaxes, I’m all for them. You’ll love & hate me the most as the finale. I don’t know who’s a better writer, me or God? Don’t get me wrong, God is good. I tried, & still try, to make every day great. We go through shit, yeah. I definitely have my highs 😉 but I definitely have my lows. It’s part of being an artist –& rock star, & I guess human. It’s also very good to take breaks, hiatus, do nothing on occasion, go off the grid. Have ‘you’ time, because those are some of the best adventures. Adventures lead to other adventures. It’s all good material. Everyone loves when the plot, amongst other things, thickens.

So, get your pens & paper, your tablets or laptops, because it’s now time to begin a new story & make it like nothing before. Make inside jokes with yourself. It’s time for 2018. I’m looking forward to 2018. I know how I want to play it. But first things first, it’s time to let go what no longer serves you.



They say people be more cray cray when the moon is full. I beg to differ. I believe it’s during the waxing crescent phase. The moon does magical things, yes. & Yes, when the moon is full people [probably] are at a height. & not just people, but vampires, werewolves, ghosts, & witches, but witches are people, too, so… I can’t help but notice people’s behaviors during the waxing crescent phase. It’s strange. When the moon is full it is fully illuminated. Craziness ignited, fully exposed. During the waxing crescent phase, it’s barely getting started… The magic of the moon begins to consume & that’s when its affects, & effects ;), go into play. One can argue the same for the waning crescent, but I’m on the northern hemisphere, so I can only speak from that, & my, point of view 😉 Plus, it seems like during the waning phase it’s flushing all the bad out. & waning sounds a little like whining & if we’re talking about the moon & it’s craziness & magic mystique, then it’s best to check your whining at the door –if you’re let past security. Regardless, I love the moon, especially its dark side. & if you ask if I’m rooting for the light or the dark, I’d say both.



2017 is almost coming to a close. This isn’t a recap episode, so don’t get all notalgic jet. lol. There’s still a whole other month of 2017 to live. A magical month. The month of December. On occasion I’ll think about the calendar, & whenever I wanna woo someone, lol, sometimes I do woo. lol. hahaha. But when I wanna share an “interesting fact,” & to test someone’s knowledge –we wanna know what type of intellect we’re gonna bang. Sadly, some people don’t have it all. You can be hot, but whack in bed. I tell them that the original calendar had only 10 months: October was the eighth, December was the tenth. But when Julius Caesar & Augustus became REALLY larger than life, & when times REALLY changed, pun intended, July & August came into play. & then we hit the sack. Or sac. lol. From experience, usually only happens during the waxing crescent for me 😉 Everyone else is all around. So there you go, dating advice #1.Make them like you because you’re hot & smart, not just hot. & then __ck them real good. lol. Who in the hell am I to give dating advice?!?! lol. I do give good advice, I just need to learn to take some of my own. OK, this is not a pity party, so check your pity at the door. But if you think about it, the calendar change extended our time. Our time to live longer, more. Experience more. learn more. I can’t help but think how different the seasons would be. It would go from June to October, which means that would be summer? Summer in October? We’re not in the hills anymore, honeychild. Time. We never have enough of it & as it is, with those extra two month, & daylight savings, it still seems to go fast & not enough. Is anything ever? I HATE wasting time. It’s such a waste of something you’ll never get back. It’s not like a tax refund if you’re poor. It’s funny how when we’re going through a rough phase time feels like it goes by slow, versus it can fly by when we’re having fun. Next subject! I took a glimpse at my last few posts. LthefuckOL. lol. WOW. I haven’t given up on writing, I’ve just taken it in a different direction as of late. I also do photography & I love television. I love TV production: pilots, ratings, the set-ups, the sweeps, upfronts, 5-year / 6-year –1-year contracts, casting, who passed up what role, who was considered, how many episodes, story arcs, etc. I picture ‘The Cubicle Diaries’ as a show. It’s episodic, dramatic, scandalous, entertaining, relating, fresh —OK! This is NOT a pitch… I’ve been writing privately. Not every singer releases every song they write &/or sing. The record company won’t let them.[sarcasm mark here]. LOL. Not my point! lol. I love writing & that is all that matters. You don’t need to KNOW everything, or do you? Speaking of television, I’ll share I’ve been watching ‘Younger,’ ‘Riverdale,’ ‘Dynasty,’ —lmfao. I like Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage! I’m probably one of the few that finds the true humour in ‘Fuller House.’ As always, ‘American Horror Story,’ I gotta stay true to Beverly Hills, so ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ & to my defense that is the ONLY 1! Beverly Hills & the Hamptons are my 2 favourite American cities. Anyhow, You gotta switch it up! I have been thinking more & more about volume III. Little by little I’m mentally preparing for it. It’s coming! I’ve had a few life-imitating-art, art-imitating-life moments as of late with nods to volume II. Strange. Maybe we CAN write our own destinies 😉




The September Post [in October]

DSCF6770 DSCF9272
Hi 🙂
It has been some time…
September, wow. I had a feeling this month was going to fly by. I turned the calendar page too fast. September has had some great weather. I love the feeling of the season(s) transitioning. It’s such a comfy feeling. Plus, being in Chicagoland I can enjoy all 4 seasons! I’ve been doing some travelling.
I went to St.Louis, which was an experience. For the most part it was fun. Ballpark Stadium is cool. Pretty much anything goes there. The aftermath was a shit show though. Be careful who you travel with! Sounds simple & like common sense but somehow the easy can fly over our head obliviously. Some people truly are creepy. & for most, when you begin to doubt yourself, just know there is someone out there weirder than you. This one though… My God! I have never felt so watched & stalked in my life! & to think I did this one a favor by extending the invite! All because I thought if I didn’t things would be worse than what they would be if I did. Let’s just say life is one big learning experience & we are not meant to be cool with everyone we cross paths with, especially the needy, desperate, and the sad. You have to be selective who you travel with! We want to give people a shot, but sometimes we need to be a little more patient & observant. I must not let that individual have a stigma over St.Louis. That individual is a sad piece of work. Not even a sad piece of shit, because that would be an upgrade & this person is lower than that. I want to believe this psycho is out of my life for good now.
Then there was Cincinnati. “Cincy” as some call it. I had no idea what to expect about Cincinnati. Vini vidi vici was my thought process afterwards. I had a great time. I went alone. I was like, lesson learned! I needed a break from reality. I’ve learned while most people fear being alone, i find comfort in it. Am I going to be single forever — probably! & no, it’s not a cry for help, check your pity at the door. I’m OK & happy with myself. I like travelling alone. It’s a whole other great experience. Oh, Cincy! I was really surprised at it! I took full advantage of my time there. I got to try Skyline chili. Cincy marks the first time I ever used AirBNB. Good experience with that one.
Saugatuck. When I first heard about Saugatuck, I was like, I wanna go! I love Saugatuck. I will go back. It was such a good getaway, a getaway I truly needed!! I got to experience a staying at a bed & breakfast & staying in a log cabin. i randomly bought a typewriter. I stopped by an antique store as I cruised the breweries. When I saw it I was like, must have! I felt like I owed it to myself to get it. As a writer & for decor. I spent A LOT of time at the winery 😉 Oh! & I got to sleep! Sleep. There’s one thing I’ve been deprived of. I’ve been working a lot. I guess that’s what you do after you graduate. For some, they just get fat and unhappy –er. Every place is it’s own individual place, its great! Every place is an experience. I had some good experiences. I have so much land to conquer. Secretly I’ve been thinking about volume III of “The Cubicle Diaries.” I’m not going to get started on that, but it is on my mind. I’m not ready for that grind & hustle yet. I haven’t posted or written since “Clouded Judgment.” It’s been 2 years since I left California. Still going strong. I can’t help but notice when it comes to that, I feel like the more things change, the more they stay the same. It sounds better in French. I still don’t really miss California. I miss Hollywood. Hollywood was my true love I let go. Love. Cupid is not in my favor at the moment. It’s OK. Fuck a hoe. Oh, wait, I already did that. Or am I the hoe? lol. I don’t know… lol. OK, enough flow-ing. lol. I’m seeing a frienemy relationship going on between us, Cupid & I. I’ve been trying to read more. I read “Envy,” which is a good book. I just wrapped up reading, “A Simple Favor.” Also pretty good. It will soon be adapted into a movie starring the beloved Blake Lively & Anna Kendrick. I have to say, I’m excited to see them opposite of each other. “A Simple Favor” has quite the plot twists. When first reading the book I had an idea who was going to play who. I can see why they were cast in their respective roles. Next on the list is “Dangerous Milo.” I’m having a good time in Chicagoland. I just learned of a handful of museums to check out. There’s so much to learn here. I can see why people fall in love with it here. I can’t stand all the stupid laws & taxes they have here though. Don’t get me started in the sugary-beverage tax. The air is getting crisper, the leaves are changing, & sadly before we know it we’ll be packing on holiday weight & celebrating the new year.