Leaving Los Angeles [A Little Raw]

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This time I’m not going on vacation and returning in a few weeks. This time I’m not changing zip codes. This time I’m changing continents. This time I’m moving, and I don’t know if I will be back. I said it before, I will say it again, no matter where life or my career shall take me, I will forever be an Angelino. This is what I want. This is what I’ve been yearning for. And call me cliché, but this type of advancement given to me is because I worked for it, and because I graduated from college. I am soooo excited. It all doesn’t seem real. And for the questions of those who are questioning me and my writing career —it’s still going to happen! I will do whatever I can to make sure “The Cubicle Diaries” Volume Two and Three get published. After all, they say, everything is ‘Made in China’. I’m not stopping. For what? I’ve been proven many times I am still meant to be here, and while I’m here, I’m going to prove I’m meant to be here. All this time I was hustling and bustling, and putting so much pressure on myself to make shit happen, and now, I’m no longer the driver, Fate is. I just shifted to cruise control, and turned up my Fleetwood Mac.

Recently I learned, despite that it’s a cliché, what’s meant to be, will be. So many people say it, but all they do is talk out of their fucking ass. Few REALLY understand the meaning of it. People and their words. It’s kind of like having an identity nowadays, and we all know identity is questionable, especially with the fucking internet. It’s kind of like having true happiness, especially within yourself. You have to earn true happiness, otherwise, you will never enjoy the true high it gives you. And for those naïve fucks, you’ll never wake up one day and be like, OK, I’m happy! I’m learning, every day, that anything is possible. YOU just have to REALLY want something in order for it to happen, and FYI, nothing happens overnight. Obstacles are purposely thrown in our direction to test us how strong we are, and if we hold in there, shit will happen. I’m not speaking out of my ass, I’m speaking from experience. There’s a reason what only certain people “make it” in the world. What comes easy won’t last, and what lasts won’t come easy. “I’ve noticed [lately] that the harder I seem to work, the more luck I have.” We have to want to change. My thing is I’ve never really lived in my comfort zone, because I’ve always wanted more, and now, comfort is over the Atlantic. [I’m in fucking CHINA for Christ’s sake! OMFGG!] We have to want to face the unknown. We have to want more. We have to be scared to overcome it. I’m ready for a new day, and every day is a new day, and believe it or not, every day entails a new story, a new beginning, which leads to a whole new chapter. This departure from my homeland is not the start of a new chapter, I see it as the start of a whole new volume. Because every book eventually runs out of paper, and we can only have so many chapters. All this is is my stepping stone.

I’m FINALLY Leaving Los Angeles, and now I will be An American in Asia. I’m going global –again, but this time it’s different. I will admit, there are some I could careless to see off. For what? All those certain people did was take me, my friendship, and my presence for granted. I get it, we all live our own lives, and I use ‘lives’ widely, but when we look at it, who is the last one laughing? Go live that sad little life you call life. Bitch, I say this confidently now, I have a reason and the capacity to say it now, and what I will say is, I’M NOT DONE. People always talking about, I’ll cut certain people off at this point and that point. Newsflash! Your scissors are dull, and the only thing you are cutting is your life short. I don’t have remorse, I have relief. Relief I don’t have to worry about running into you, or seeing another fake post, or hearing some gossip about you that is probably the truth. They say, let it go, I’ve let it go like I’ve let you go; they say everything comes full circle, I’m about as full as a binge eater on Thanksgiving. I LOVE hearing some people to say, I’ll go visit you! My thoughts are, I’d LOVE to see that happen. First off, you couldn’t even visit me in Hollywood over the hill, and now you want to visit me on the other side of the world!?! Apparently, returning a call and a text was going out on a limb, and now… never mind! I’M OVER YOU! Like I’m over the way people overrate LA. Save your hot breath. I have shit I have to take care of. But thank you for pretending to care. But I will still love you as my fan. I thought I was the one close to acting, living in Hollywood and all… One day you will be a star. As for the people who really made the effort to see me off, all I can do is honor them to the maximum amount of generosity my body occupies.

I’m ready. I’m ready to move on, I’m ready for a career, I’m ready to have real Chinese food from China! So for some of you, goodbye, good riddance, good luck; VeniVidiVici. I hope everyone finds whatever they are looking for. Please keep in mind though, things will only happen if you take a chance, make a change, and ultimately, take a risk. The end of the summer may be coming, but for me, it is the start of my new life.

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