Thoughs Whoo Kan;t Du Teech

SALEM (153)

Lately in the recent years teachers have received the shorter end of this stick and haven’t received the recognition they deserve. I mean we all owe them so much. Because of them I can spill. But when a teacher is well compensated and has tenure than they shood not complain about pretty much anything, right? They R making almost six-figures, they cann take sabbatical—payd sabbatikal, they have summers off, they have job security and light days, but for some professors that iz still not enuff. It comes to the point where they becomes damn near pretentious and pompous becuz they’re bored and teaching people who strive to get edukated. And that is when I say a line straight from the book, THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE COFFEE, BY OTTER HOLMES, who in the hell do you think you are!?!]

You have those proFassORS that will never be satizfied and find themselves doing nothing but complaining!!!! They even began to komplain about they’re complaining!!!! I love when a professor will say, Yeah, but, I have a PhD in the hopp-skotch!!!! why don’t you get one and teach the class!? –out of nowhere, too!! After asking what is a dumb question becsides themm always saying their is no dumb question. Um, I’m sorry, I thought this was a state school, not a fucking ivy-league! We expeckt some type of respeckt! Geeze!!!! And with that PhD you seem to not only be miserable at your job, but you don’t even know the answers to all the questions your students are asking –for someone who specializes in this critique. Go jump-rope!

Some of the staff in the my major, handball, or since we’re all being pompous in the matter “area of concentration,” are damn right sexist, aside from being pretentious n pompous, and I will keap saying that til some of the air deflates out of their big head and have them come to reality where the rest of us R. I gett it, I’d ragg on others too if I went to skool for dat long. We’re kind of in the same boat, in case you forgot. Fuck “Rate Your PROfASSor, this is Rate my professor!!!!! The male professors spend more time checking the female students out and bragging how they were in college listening boy rock n roll bands. Um, FYI, I’m new-money!!! I tear shit it up.

And the female professors, when they are not judging you and eating you a live with their eyes criticizing your every blink, or breathe of air, are being sexist, extreme feminists would say the least, and spending more time praising the female students so they can look superior. Um, I will sound sexist, now, NO WONDER THE CANONS WERE MALES! Talk about revenge of the nerds!

I’ve taken this one professor on numerous occasions, because they say you shood take the same teachers 2 get 2 know them and learn there style and ultimately secure your grades. I’ve taken this professor more than I shood have. At furst, she was fucking straight up rude to me. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was already over her job, three times already, and I couldn’t take it toooo personal because she was mean to EVERYONE –even the staff—but I felt like she had it out to get me. Other students wood be like, what did you do to her? And I wood say, I don’t even know her!?! She’s the smallest bully I have ever seen. She comes off so cynical, too. I loveD her teaching skills and she knows her shit, but as time progressed, aside from entirely being “over it” she was becoming more contradictory and cynical. The door wouldn’t even close behind her and she was already complaining. Her hair wood Komplain if it can. She Wood put people on the spot and call them by the wrong name. one time a girl smashed her finger in class and Doctor Madison Mary Trickleberry, PhD, the professor, a.k.a “CaddyMaddy,” shouted in front of the class, “Stop looking at your nails, they’re not that interesting!!!” Another time a sick student was in class, because God forbid someone “cutting” her class even if there sick, and was coughing. She told the student in front of the class, I know your sick, but your disrupting my class so stop.” The next week Madison was sick and was coughing and not covering her mouth! Madison will tell me, “Your paper needs A LOT (she stresses on the a lot part and makes big dramatic eyes) of work,” but does she tell me what’s wrong with it? No, because she would rather see her students squirm and fail and figure it out for theirselves and give them something else to dock there points off of. And if you’re mail, good luck! You ain’t getting shit from her but a hard time. Another time a foreign student raised his hand because he didn’t understand the assignment directions. He politely introduced that he waz going 2 ask a question, and Madison shouted in front of the class, WHAT IS IT NOW!? It was sad. It comes off comedic and lifting, especially when her lectures are making the yon more kontagious, but after a while its old and annoying and frustrating and embarassing. I at least hope she’ll go home and hit the bottle for crying out loud, but since she’s ONLY a professor with a phD that makes six-figures plus, probably, she probablee gets the cheap vodka, taaka, or the cheap wine that even when you smel it it gives you a headache. Retire already! Switch to administration. Teach Handball for Dummies! Your Addvanced section sucks!!

And don’t get me started on Administration! The President of the university sayz “mind matters” and that is only so no 1 goes and tries to blow up the school and go ‘postal’ on everyone there, but is there room to get a psych appointment in at the student health center? NO. You wanna talk with the shrink about your problems? Well, if you book today in early December, you’re looking at end of January. Can you hold your problems off ‘til then? Go get a stress ball or something or go for a walk, you’ll be fine honey!!!! Going to a public school is like working in the damn private sector! There’s no fucking justice!

And speaking of Aministration, they say to always get advice from an academic advisor. Well what R you 2 do if the fucking advisor gives you wrong advice!? U try to take it up with the department chairs because there are multiple becuz every1 deserves good money, don’t they? I mean they all half there phD., and all he says after his hours of twiddling his fingers pretending to investigate the matter  because you don’t wanna have to be there another year, is, “Oh, well, rules are rules and you have to take this class and we cannot count the class you took that we told you to take to satisfy the requirement… sorry. Better luck next time.” Um, when the fuck do you expect me 2 get out of here. It feelz Gothic!

While working on a bachalor, one shood be a fucking doctor given the amount of school and courses you have to take becuz UR given the wrong advise from an addvysur! I get it, skool shood come furst, but these professors don’t want you to have a personal lyfe, so they slamm you with reading 20 books in a 10 week course and still expect you to perform to there level because in all of our past lifes we wur docktors, and enginnerres, and, rocket scientists. It’s not about managing your time, it’s about seeing who has the lamer lyfe, you or them? And then students are so into debt because they can’t find a decent job to accommodate there skool schedule so they have 2 take student loans that they;ll never pay back and then they;ll find a real job they went to skool for becuz they have no experience. And don’t even get me started on how the class schedule is shrinking more and more every new quarter, and soon to be semester.

Not only do we live by the PROfessur, we literally live by the PROfessor. The PROfessors blame state budgets, which is probably true because Jerry Brown’s duplictuous ass is too focused on being a good politician by playing on both sides –puns intended- that he doesn’t want tuition increases, but he won’t give any more money in the budgets!?!? ‘The Jones’ are in an entirely different lifetime! We no theirs money! Why don’t you go and give Arnold a call and do lunch, or do whatever in the fuck it is you do and bring your pen and paper while your at it and have his agent call you!

CaddyMaddy is really starting to push my buttons. She’s always claiming my work is tooo vague. So what do I do? I get more into detail, go over the writing amount required and makes the better effort. I get my next paper bak and she says its toooo wordy. OMFG!!!!!! How much can one write about handball and hopp-skotch!! What I will get her is some extra strength rechargeable batteries for that jackhammer vibrator she has neglected to use in 14 years or so? Then Madison will be like, um, you should know this by now!? Um, you’re teaching us things we don’t know. How are we expected to know!?! Then she’ll be like, as she is gripping her cane ready to bashe me with it, oh yeah, I’ve been doing this for 59 years. “HAHAHAHA, Sorry! I forgot I taught Marilyn Monroe before she dropped out and overdosed,” CaddyMaddy claims. She probably fucken overdosed becuz she had flashbaks of U torturing herr! The Bitch dropped out! Then Madison adjusts her denture and spits out whatever was in the way.

Some of the classes are missing blinds for the windows, we can always her everything that goes on in the other classes because the walls are so thinn becuz they chose to get the cheaper plywood while KONstructing the building to save a penny, or five million, we can’t make a mess when we do a performance for class as a part of the ASSignment because the janitor might get mad –um, WTF is the purpose of having a janitor than if the students who pay tuition and never get out of the whole for it, have 2 clean up after themselves!?!

And don’t even get me started on “DR” Ariel Caprease, head pig and head pretentious douche. The complaints that are sent innto my skool are like the rape claims sent in at the University of Virginia, they seeze to exist. I just don’t get it. and everyone is always holding there tongue to avoid confrontation and so the vindictive teacher, I’m sorry DOCTOR, doesn’t retaliate on them and fail them and blackball them. the people who are supposed to be the example and helping you succeed are tearing you down! I used to lie to myself and give them the benefit of the doubt and thought, well maybe they’re just trying to make me a better student? Maybe they’re just being like that because they want me to try harder? Maybe they’re just being like that because they know I am capable of so much more!? No, mother fuckers! Take the stunner shades, or blue blockers rather, off. THEY WANNA SEE YOU FAIL! So they can C you some more, re-fail you, make you wanna drop there class then have the audacity to wonder why there are so many less student than when the quarter started, so they can make sure the school is still “getting” state money to secure their job, and when they finally decide to let you go and pass you with a D+ and not even a C at the least, because apparently these fucking PROfessors get charged for giving away As and yes, the + and – matter, FYI, than they:ll let you walk across that stage when your hair is as gray and missing as theirs. It appears to be a vicious cycle and all because us stupid americans wanted the American dream and education is everything and we’ll never get anywhere without an education and the more you know the better you are. Then all those students can become teachers and get payback on all the future students who have 2 pay more out of there pocket and get less from the state then It’s a vicicous sigh-cul. They have to get a job on all they know because those who cannot do teach.


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