“Disgruntled Employee” Chapter 2 – An excerpt of Otter Holmes’ “The Cubicle Diaries: Friends Close, Co-Workers Closer”

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Derek understood the type of relationship he and Emily had. He understood his position in their twisted love-triangle and was fine with it. It was not like he wanted strings attached either, or did he? After days of dodging him, Emily and Derek finally talked. Emily pretended to be happy for Derek because his spirits were lifted and egged him on that everything was going to be fine. She insisted they hang out, so she and Derek arranged to have a little play date. They went to a cute little sushi house in Santa Monica off of Bundy Drive. They had a blast. Everything was great. They were in heaven, or actually back to heaven. It was probably the closest Emily was going to get to heaven because given the amount of sins she committed as a Christian, she was headed somewhere else; somewhere a little more South. Derek and Emily felt as if they were the only people on the planet. Despite knowing where and how he stood in the so-called relationship, Derek couldn’t help but begin to grow deeper feelings for Emily. Emily had Derek by the balls. She knew it, and so did he, and she took it for granted. And all Emily did was continue to let her fake feelings grow. For a quick second she actually started to feel something, but her heart belonged somewhere else. Derek told Emily everything about his weekend-getaway-from-hell for Jack’s birthday, and she was appalled. She couldn’t believe it. She was mad and pissed that they would act like that. Emily began to bad mouth the Shady Bunch, and she even made fun of them for acting like they all know it all. Emily was mainly shocked at how Gavin acted.

“Manly!?” Emily said, her crinkled forehead expressed pure confusion. She then took a sip of her hot sake. Even Evil Emily, “The Christian,” knew how the rules of Vegas went, and she always played by them. Good, too. Pasqual loved Vegas, and she loved going with him.

Derek won Emily over with his sad story. Emily expressed sympathy, deep sympathy, but it was all a sham. Only to an extent did she feel bad for him, but for the most part she had no real emotions to share. Emily was becoming more and more of an actress. She even believed herself at times. Subtly she kept looking at the time so she could prepare when Pasqual was going to call.

When it came to Emily, Derek was oblivious. Ignorance was more than bliss. Derek knew Emily had the tendency to lie, and was as bad as the next person on The Firm Firm’s payroll, but he always gave her the benefit of the doubt, like an idiot. Derek always brushed everything aside for Emily. He was her fool. He was beginning to really fall for her and she knew it.

Driving in a one-way direction, also, Emily was sprung on Pasqual. Pasqual loved being at the top of the food chain. Emily’s biggest problem was Pasqual’s wife. Emily needed to find a way to get rid of her once and for all.

While having sushi and enjoying their good buzz off of hot sake and beer, Emily and Derek decided to renew each other as each other’s Valentine. Derek forgot all about last Valentine’s Day. They began to make all sorts of plans. Derek plotted the best Valentine’s Day for them. He was willing to go all out and show a romantic side of himself that he didn’t even know existed: champagne and strawberries, sushi, chocolate covered strawberries, more sushi, candles, a nice picnic by a swan pond with a red and white flannelled blanket, holding each other as the sun set, having sex in public; the whole shebang. The more Derek talked, the more Emily egged him on on how romantic it would all be. Derek was under the impression Emily would comfort him all through his “low” time, and he knew that Pasqual was really going to be spending Valentine’s Day with his wife, so basically they were just using each other for comfort. That seemed to be the only real foundation of their relationship. Everyone was using everyone. Plus, no one wanted to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Everything seemed perfect for each of them. After their itinerary was laid out, Emily and Derek did a sake bomb in favor of Valentine’s Day.

The next day, Emily broke their entire plan off with Derek, via text. She claimed she had to do something with her church. Derek knew Emily was lying. Emily threw her plans with Derek in Pasqual’s face when he broke the news that they weren’t going to see each other at all, not in the early morning or late night, and Pasqual was furious. He forbade Emily to see Derek. Pasqual didn’t care. He put his foot down, hard. Emily tried to stand her ground too, but ultimately Pasqual won when he threatened to fire Derek if she saw him. Emily froze when she heard what Pasqual said he would do. That was when she knew he was serious and this was one battle she wasn’t going to win with him. Pasqual was and sounded so serious it frightened her.

Derek saw the text and was pissed. He replied with no response, just a blank text. He had nothing to say to her. That’s it! Derek thought. He was so pissed. Pissed! He felt like he had been betrayed by too many people from the office. Derek knew it was because of Pasqual. Last Valentine’s Day he let it slide, but this one was too much. Derek felt stupid because everyone at the office had deceived him in one way or another for their own agenda. People of The Firm Firm were really beginning to take Derek’s kindness for granted. The Firm Firm made Derek the disgruntled employee he became. What did I do for this treatment? Derek thought to himself, feeling sorry for himself. Everyone was now an enemy in Derek’s eyes. He was going to put his own foot down. He switched gears to Emily. He had Gwendolyn out of the way, and now he was going to get Emily. She played him one too many times. Enough is enough. Shame on me! Derek thought. Derek could feel his blood pumping, nervousness filled his body. “And then, I’ll get MC and Gavin at the same time! Two birds, one stone,” Derek said, vengefully, ready to break his phone after re-reading Evil Emily’s text.

Derek knew about MC and Oscar because Mingche told Louva, and Louva told Derek. Louva knew he wouldn’t say anything because he was no longer affiliated with the Shady Bunch, but Louva forgot the fact that the information was good blackmail material for Derek to use on Oscar since he was forbidden to date girls from The Firm Firm, and what the affair would do to MC and Gavin’s friendship, especially since in Gavin’s eyes his uncle was perfect who lived the perfect life happily married to his Aunt. Gavin would never trust MC again, and he would never look at his uncle the same. Gavin would be forced to tell the truth to his Aunt. Derek knew this would all do some serious damage, and have a massive ripple effect. Derek thought of all the possibilities. An evil grin appeared on his handsome looking face. It was a grin that seemed to appear a lot more than usual lately.

It was a new day, and Derek had his game face on when he arrived at the office, late. Derek showed up late on purpose. To get back at Evil Emily, Derek made Melanie his valentine and flourished her with gifts. He did his best to throw it all in Emily’s face. He even bought Melanie a charm bracelet from Tiffany’s. Melanie was so surprised, Emily was so hurt. Emily had been telling Derek she wanted that charm bracelet for the longest, and Derek gave it to Melanie right in front of Emily. After Emily and Derek parted from their sushi date the day they made their Valentine’s Day plans, Derek rushed to the Tiffany’s store in Beverly Hills to get it. Derek wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to get romantic on Emily, and she blew it to be blown off. Derek saw that his romantic gesture to Melanie hit Emily where it hurt her the most. As “Christian” as she was, Emily was also materialistic. Derek didn’t care because he compared it to the hurt he felt in his heart that she caused him.

Pasqual walked past Derek’s cubicle shamelessly. He acted like nothing. Derek greeted Pasqual in a sarcastic tone. Pasqual reciprocated. He had no remorse about ruining Derek’s weekend, or love life. Derek was madder at Emily for listening to Pasqual, than he was at Pasqual for manipulating Emily to kick Derek to the curb.

Derek was fighting a battle with almost everyone at the office. Because of all the drama from work coming down on him, Derek picked up his bad habits for a mental escape, and now that was taking a toll on him, too. Derek stressed himself out, and he began to lose it. His personal life and business life were clashing. He violated the number one rule: never mix business with pleasure. Derek felt suffocated. He picked up his cubicle phone and made an urgent appointment to see his shrink.

Monique, the new hire, was ready to haze Bertha, her new boss. Bertha micro-managed her like one wouldn’t believe. Monique was new, and did need extra attention, for now, but Bertha was taking it too far. Monique heard from Louva, of course, that Bertha couldn’t keep an employee if her life depended on it. Louva gave Monique the rundown of Bertha’s checkered history. No wonder she can’t keep an employee, Monique thought to herself as she listened to Louva give her the run down, looking more pleased than ever. Louva looked like she was ready to orgasm giving so much gossip out. Monique began to think of ways to set Bertha up for failure. She began to trick her and manipulate her into making wrong management choices, all so she could throw it in Bertha’s face at a later time. Monique gave Bertha bad work advice to help make her feel like a better boss. Monique was ready to send Bertha on a wild goose chase.

Since Bertha was very gullible, she listened to everything Monique said and took it all seriously. Bertha just had to be won over at the minimal, and from then on out she would believe anything someone said to her. Bertha was a loose cannon and a ticking time bomb. She scared people from the office when they would go to lunch because Bertha was capable of doing anything and everything. She would act sad for no apparent reason, and people expressed sympathy. Then she was happy and crazy. She was a true bi-polar case study. Bertha was special, cray-cray special. Bertha was unpredictable and yet people loved that about her. In a nut shell, to secure her position in management no one wanted her in, Bertha was just trying to please Monique and get on her good side. Bertha portrayed herself as a good boss when really she was a nervous wreck. Everyone dreaded Bertha’s office status and title. In reality, Bertha had the slightest idea on how to be a boss. She was almost as bad as Simon Sparrow, except she had a full head of hair and somewhat of a style.

Dani still despised Bertha, especially as a boss. Dani was always the first to question Bertha on everything. She loved giving her a hard time on purpose and it was all for Dani’s personal amusement.

The rain checked back into town. Monique, Derek, and Jennifer were forced to stay inside when break time came. Usually they’d go outside and absorb the sunshine because it was always dark and muggy inside The Firm Firm’s walls. Derek showed up late to work purposely, and he still had the nerve to take his break when it came up. Nothing came between Derek and his breaks. Derek hated going in the lunchroom during break because the Shady Bunch was always in there being overly loud and obnoxious acting like they owned the bitch. Derek, Monique, and Jennifer were in one corner. Mingche and Louva were in another. And the Shady Bunch was scattered out. Derek couldn’t look at Gwendolyn because all he wanted to do was laugh. Derek listened to see if anyone brought up Gwendolyn’s birthday, but not one peep was made.

As Derek walked out of the break room from his extended break he was not entitled to, Mingche tried to tell him something. Derek had Mingche repeat herself three times because he couldn’t hear her because the Shady Bunch tried to overpower him entirely. They were so loud and rowdy, like protestors. Finally Derek had enough. He shouted in the break room in front of everyone that he couldn’t hear Mingche because of the “loud-asses” that were trying to overpower him. Suddenly everyone and everything grew quiet. It was that awkward moment where suddenly everyone hears everything you say. Everyone looked at Derek in awe. He had the attention now, undivided attention. Jerome and Gwendolyn were shocked. Jack turned around quickly because he thought Derek was Nigel from the way his voice sounded. Jack grew excited. Mingche gave Derek the look of, no you didn’t… Louva was happy Derek did that because it caused the pot to stir. Louva sipped on her coffee in total amusement waiting for the next move. Louva loved her coffee almost as much as she loved drama.

How dare Derek come on our grounds and try and call the shots! Some of the Shady Bunch’s followers thought. No one had the balls to respond. Not their queen-bee Jack, or their wannabe queen-bee, Gwendolyn.

As Monique and Jennifer left the break room, Monique noticed something she never paid any attention to before: the suggestion box. The suggestion box welcomed any and all suggestions anonymously to help better the company, as if Herald, Gerald, and Doris were willing to take anyone’s feelings into consideration. All they care about was making sure they got their over ten-grand a month and not having any real bad publicity. They weren’t just horrible, terrible bosses, they were the epitome of the worst bosses.

Gavin and Kim noticed they were wearing matching clothes when they crossed paths at the recycle bin. Kim was happy because someone finally spoke to her in a positive tone and manner. Gavin didn’t understand why him matching with people at the office kept on happening. Is it because I have such a keen and diverse sense of fashion? Gavin thought as he walked back to his cubicle. A smile appeared on his young, handsome looking face.

Lance and Derek crossed paths in the bathroom and chit-chatted it up. They became closer after the weekend-getaway-from-hell since Lance was the only one there for him at the time. Lance walked in and immediately asked Derek what he was doing.

“Checking my neck for hickies,” Derek answered. He was focused on himself in the mirror, and then began to clean his chap-stick he said he recently loaned his friend. Derek had already moved on from Emily full throttle.

“New bitch?” Lance said, as he peed in the urinal.

“Something like that…” Derek answered.

“Who is she?” Lanced asked.

“I am not one to kiss and tell, and if I did then I would have to kill you,” Derek said, as he began to pee, too, in the urinal next to Lance.

Lance laughed.

“Do you ever feel like this place brings out the worst in you?” Derek asked Lanced as he shook himself off.

“Yes! This place is kind of… evil? Hostile, crazy to say the least.” Lanced said, as he walked toward the sink.

“Thank you. I suddenly feel normal,” Derek answered. He began to shake his wiener so no pee marks went through his expensive, khaki colored Express pants.

“You’re not normal. You’re Derek Johnston. Everyone is always concerned about you, trying to calculate your next move and making sure you’re ‘OK,’ and from the looks of it, that your appetite is satisfied. Whatever you do is right, even the wrong things. You’ve probably gotten away with murder so many times already! And had someone to successfully clean it up because they would love to be of assistance to you. It’s damn near disgusting!” Lance said with passion as he dried his hands.

“Really!?” Derek said as he walked toward the sink. A huge grin grew on his handsome looking face.

“Don’t act like you don’t know it!” Lance said, “No one remembers or cares about Vegas anymore.”

“I do,” Derek answered.

“So, this newbie, is she hot? Is she new?” Lance changed the subject quickly.

“I told you already, I’d have to kill you if I told you,” Derek shot back.

Lance rolled his eyes.

“BUT, I’ll tell you this… We have been hooking up secretly for some time and it was nothing I ever imagined or saw coming. Something like a sugar-mama. She’s hard to please, but she does me good,” Derek said.

“Girls, and women, love the bad boy and well, you’re you, you’re all of the above,” Lance said.

“Are you hitting on me?” Derek turned from looking in the mirror to face Lance.

Lanced rolled his eyes, made an expression and walked out saying, “You’re you!”

After his bathroom break, Derek fantasized in his cubicle. He noticed something funny about all the fat people in the office: they were all wearing pink. Derek then noticed Jerome was wearing a pink polo shirt, Gwendolyn was wearing a loose light pink dress, and even Doris was wearing pink, but she wasn’t that fat, just large, manly and muscular. Either way, Derek found it all so funny. He laughed to himself, as usual, in his cubicle. He then thought about slaughtering them all. Then he thought about having some bacon burgers.

That afternoon, an “anonymous” person put a suggestion in the suggestion box. This person suggested Bertha be reviewed as a manager. The suggestion included harsh complaints about Bertha. Now it was getting taken very seriously by Human Resources. Doris was back in the game to ruin people’s lives.

Derek was happy because he successfully convinced Simon to convince Herald and Gerald to give him a good raise. “I think you owe it to me,” Derek told Simon. Derek felt entitled, and he had no shame to share it because of how Simon screwed him before. Meanwhile, everyone else’s pay raise sucked. Simon came through for Derek because he knew he fucked up on him and did him dirty. Simon felt bad for the way he treated Derek over the past year when really he was nothing but a good sport who actually worked. Drinking on lunch break became the norm for Derek, Jennifer, and Monique as they all became better acquainted. They were almost as bad as Pasqual and Oscar. Lunch was their Happy Hour. Louva’s husband found out about her getting roughed up from her boy toy. Out of pure anger, Louva’s husband beat her ass. Louva was manhandled by another man. She was in bad shape. She was a bloody Valentine.

Clara, Doris’s new victim-slash-the new Celia, was added to the payroll. Clara put together a tennis team. Derek, Ramona, Karla, Rahshad, Marco, Sonya, Irma and a few others were the first to opt in to join. Bertha knew no one wanted her, so she didn’t even bother. After his first tennis practice, Derek made a special visit to that someone he was referring to when he and Lance were having their chat in the men’s room. Despite Derek being hot and sweaty, he still went. And since he was Derek Johnston, he looked good in anything, especially messy hair and sweat. Even his sweat smelled good. Derek wasn’t going to waste anymore of his time with little girls. He was planning on being with a woman, a woman who would take care of him and who better than Amanda von Carson to be that woman. Yes, Amanda was a bitch, a hard to please bitch, but Derek being Derek was able to crack that code, and little did Derek know that she was going to make him her bitch, too. Amanda had money, power, a damn attitude, and an ego that all went hand in hand together. Yes, Amanda had a rock hard façade, but inside, she was warm, fuzzy, and lonely. Moguls had feelings, and needs, too. The last relationship Amanda was in she ended just like that, within a snap of a finger. She called her boyfriend up and said they were done. She hung up on him like nothing, never to be communicated with again.

At first, Derek and Amanda’s thing was a casual thing, nothing serious, just random sex when she wanted it, of course. It all started at the closing of the Tower in the Cloud merger. Amanda made a comment to Derek, and Derek got her joke. He wanted to laugh, but he didn’t want to get yelled at. Derek couldn’t contain his laughter. It was a side he never saw of Amanda. She then demanded they go to her “estate” to get some files for the “bitch,” as she described it, it being Lydia Virgin. Derek knew then and there that not only was he in, but he was staying in. Everything was always on her turf. From the get go, Amanda told herself she would never take Derek serious though. He was too much of a kid for her, and she was too much of a bitch, and woman, for him.

Derek and Amanda’s “little” fling had now become full throttle. All that huffing and puffing she would do to scare him was nothing. Amanda was cynical. She was a diva, an over the top diva. One thing led to another, and Amanda always caught herself reaching for her phone to call Derek when she had one too many glasses of pinot grigio in her system. Before she knew it she was hooked on him.

“I’ll never admit it though,” Amanda said drunkenly as she sipped the last of her grigio pissed because she was going to bed alone.

Amanda made a lot more money than Derek did. Derek milked Amanda for all he could. He wanted her to pay, literally. Amanda not only had money, but she also had brains. Her brain was good, she was a good business woman. She had been in the business for so long of course she was going to know how to use her mouth. Half the time she intimidated Derek. She had the tendency to put him in his place, which was what he liked. Derek was fine being her bitch as long as the price was right. Derek was not selling himself to her, but if Amanda were to offer anything to him he would accept it with no questions asked, and we’ll just say that Amanda was a very generous and giving person. Amanda made her bitch, her bitch. Amanda was totally fine acting as Derek’s sugar momma. She wanted only one string attached to her. They both saw it no other way.

Derek was shocked when he arrived at Amanda’s estate. Amanda set-up candles and wine everywhere. She was in the romantic mood, ironically. After getting settled in, Derek and Amanda showered together to get all the sweat off him. They scrubbed and rubbed each other’s dripping wet body. Lathery soap was everywhere.

“I’m so hungry,” Derek whispered in Amanda’s ear.

“We’ll order something,” Amanda responded.

The appetite Derek was referring to was eating Amanda out, and that was what he began to do. Derek ate Amanda out like a starving kid from Ethiopia. Amanda loved being eaten out, and Derek loved to please. Amanda became loud in the steaming, hot shower. She kicked the shower door hard. Derek put his lengthy hand on the door to stop the rattling.

“Shut up,” Derek said, in a low toned voice.

“You shut up!” Amanda fired back.

Amanda wouldn’t though. She was louder. Sweat from the steam ran down their fit bodies. Derek was fully erected, but Amanda didn’t want that yet. Derek was so hard he not only tingled at the tip of his manhood, but hurt a little, too, waiting patiently. Derek manhandled Amanda in the shower like the man he was, and she let it all happen like the woman she was. Amanda didn’t care if her neighbors could hear. And if they could, that meant she was really loud because she had a huge house with a lot of privacy. The bathroom mirrors were steamy, water ran down them. Steam circulated in the air. Sweat continuously ran down their bodies. “Oops,” Amanda said, as she purposely dropped the bar of soap. As she bent over she gave Derek the eye and poked her butt into his stiff dick. Derek grabbed her by the waist. He pushed her head down, wrapped his hand in her wet hair and began to tug on it firmly as he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her towards him. Derek adjusted his cock perfectly into Amanda. She made a loud, mini shriek that expressed a painful pleasure. Derek slipped his cock into her, and out of her just so he could hear her squeal. Derek continued in the doggy-style position. Amanda became louder, and even louder when she was about to climax. Then, it happened. Amanda climaxed, four times.

After they both finished, they stood there letting their bodies take over themselves and enjoy the tingling feeling that ran through their veins; the ecstasy of the sexual intercourse. The water from the shower head ran down their naked, hot bodies. Neither of them wanted to move. Amanda’s oversized shower was the spot to be.

“Chinese?” Amanda said. She kissed Derek. She was pleased on the number he just performed on her. They had to take another shower in cold water to feel re-refreshed, to get the sweat off them. Regardless of the water temperature, and Derek’s shrinkage, they did it again. Derek lasted longer, and Amanda made him finish before he wanted to.

As Derek called it a night at Amanda’s after their Chinese take-out, and another round of going at it on the couch waiting for the delivery boy to arrive, Amanda walked Derek to the door. Before they parted, she reminded him of one thing, “No one can ever know.” Amanda told Derek fiercely and seriously, as if she was threatening him. Amanda cared about her image. She wasn’t going to let the one thing that brought them together push them apart. “Lunch is on me,” Amanda told Derek. She put three one-hundred dollar bills in Derek’s front pocket. She brushed her hand up against his unit on the way out. Derek smirked. Amanda went in to kiss Derek on the lips. Derek moved his head so she could only kiss cheek.

Copyright 2015 A product of OHMG Publishing


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