Summertime Sadness

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Summertime Sadness, Wintertime Madness
Boo fucking whooo

I wish people would get over the fact that it is not summer. People look so sad when all they do is sit there and reminisce what life was like “in the summer.” Are people not aware there are three other seasons on the calendar? For the most part all the really exciting and memorable stuff happens in those other seasons people love to neglect. So what if the weather is warmer —hello! We live in SoCal. Yes, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” but it’s always fucking warm here in Los Angeles! It was hot as hell today, and it’s supposed to be winter!

There are other seasons in case you forgot: rain, snow, wind. A couple making out is not as hot in the sun as they are in the pouring rain. Spending time with someone who matters is fun and may not be as much “thrilling” as it is sitting poolside with just a fuck, but the snow is nothing to mess with when you’re with a loved one. Put an umbrella, rain boots and the heater to use. It baffles me when people say, “I hate the rain because it’s so depressing.” You’re fucking depressing! Trying something new you cliché!

People, you can still get drunk, high and fucked on ANY other day on the calendar not just in the summer. You can still see fireworks on more than one day than July 4th. You can still drive like a maniac and bump your music. Yes in the rain, too, because now no one seems to care. Someone is always crashing on the 10 for us W.LAians. You can still wear some rockin’ clothes. We allllll know you’re waiting to post pictures on your social media to fabricate and overrate your life and remark how you have been friends with such and such for so many years and yadayadayada. And let’s not forget the pictures everyone loves to take with drinks in their hands! Maybe you should go stock up on those red Solo cups from CVS because there might be a surplus going on because it’s winter. Aw, major sad face. Have an indoor party! People, have a real intimate exchange with those creatures called “humans.” Everyone bites!

I’m sorry. I forgot people only like to do things over the internet and not in person. Scratch that.

For the most part summer is overrated. It’s hot and you can’t do anything in the heat. Personally, I’d rather be cold than hot because you can make yourself warm. You cannot make yourself cool. You have to go somewhere cool to be content and good luck finding that when everyone else is looking for it, too. At least people stay home in the cold. LMFAO. Otherwise, in the heat you just want to jump out of your own body. And for those SFBs out there, OMFGG! :O LMFAO. You know who you are.

And when the summer comes are you going to get your insecure self in a bathing suit, show off some skin and go to the beach to show off that hot body that you worked those other three seasons on?

No, you are going to sit there and wish it was another time of the year just so you can have something to tweet about and buy yourself more time you are going to do nothing with. And how many times did you go to the beach or pool in the season you put a pedestal on? Let me guess, you go to a tanning salon to get a tan!? With all this rave about summertime, do you even do anything remarkable during those three months like travel or make a major accomplishment besides find a summer fling that will eventually leave you to go back to their ex FOR THE WINTER?

All this talk about summertime sadness is annoying and causing me winter madness. Watch when the summer comes, I am going to be the only one rooting for the winter! This isn’t even a holiday madness because that is a whole other story. Take your summertime sadness and shove it where the sun does not shine and make sure you put extra sunblock on.

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One thought on “Summertime Sadness

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